The End of an Era

I'll be frank, my life has gone to shit. I have felt so much pain over the past few weeks, and being honest I am surprised that I am still here. But I am and that's a win. I have been hurt by words thrown at me, being ignored by someone who had meant the world to me, and by my own internal dialogue but I am trying. I am trying so god damn hard. I am here, I have scars, I have open wounds and I still bleed but it's starting to slow. The scars aren't so ugly to look at anymore and my wounds are starting to sting a little bit less. I know I have a long way to go until I'm okay but at least it has started. Hitting the bottom is weird and I did not think it was possible to hit rock bottom multiple times but what can I say? I am an overachiever. Hitting the bottom hurts but I think I needed it. I needed it to hurt so bad that I would either end my life or start a new one. I am glad that I chose the latter. I have become inspired by people I used to loath. I have turned intense jealousy into friendship and I have started to become myself. Here's to the end of an era and the beginning of a new one that looks completely different. This has changed me but I like it. Soon I will learn to love it.

-a